Self-Help vs. Therapy: When Newcomers to Canada Should Reach Out for More Support
Geenishka Khanna
Student, Honors in Psychology, University of Windsor, Ontario
Moving to a new country can be one of the most exciting — and emotionally overwhelming — chapters of your life. As a newcomer to Canada, it’s natural to feel pressure to succeed, be strong, and make your family proud. But when life starts to feel heavy, how do you know whether to keep pushing through with self-help tools, or when it’s time to reach out for therapy?
I’ve been there. Journaling at 2 a.m., binging motivational videos, trying affirmations, pretending I was “fine.” For a while, self-help felt like enough — until it wasn’t. I realized I was stuck in a pattern of avoiding deeper help out of fear of seeming weak or ungrateful. Sound familiar?
In this guide, we’ll break down the difference between self-help and therapy, why knowing the line between them matters, and how you can build a sustainable approach to mental wellbeing in your new life — without shame or guilt.
What Is Self-Help?
Self-help refers to strategies you implement on your own to manage your emotional well-being, stay focused, and build resilience. For many newcomers, self-help feels like a safe first step — it’s private, low-cost, and readily available.
Some of the tools I personally used (and still use today) include:
- Journaling – Writing out my thoughts helped me process emotions when I wasn’t ready to talk.
- Gratitude lists – Reminding myself of the good things or memories that helped on days I felt far from home.
- Meditation – Meditation helps calm the mind by reducing racing thoughts and grounding you in the present moment.
- Productivity techniques – Like the Pomodoro Technique, which saved me during exam prep.
Self-help like this can give you a sense of control, which is essential when everything else feels unpredictable
Why Self-Help Wasn’t Enough for Me
Despite all the techniques I tried, there came a time when I hit a wall.
Assignments were piling up. My calls home became less frequent because I didn’t want to worry my parents. I would scroll through Instagram and wonder why everyone else seemed to be thriving while I was barely holding on.
I knew something wasn’t right. But still, I hesitated to seek therapy. I told myself, “It’s not that serious,” or “Other people have it worse.” I feared I’d be seen as weak, dramatic, or incapable.
In reality, I was afraid of asking for too much.
I now know self-help is meant to support you — not silence your struggles. It’s not meant to replace therapy when the situation calls for more depth and care.
Eventually, I took the step. I booked a therapy appointment. And it opened the door to healing I didn’t even know I needed.
What Is Therapy and Why It’s Different
Therapy is a guided, professional space where you can explore your thoughts, emotions, and life challenges with someone trained to help. A therapist doesn’t — they listen, question, and guide you toward insights you might not uncover alone.
Unlike self-help, which is often general and one-size-fits-all, therapy is deeply personal. It’s tailored to your background, your values, and your unique struggles.
In therapy, I unpacked layers I didn’t even know I was carrying — the pressure to succeed, the guilt of missing family milestones, the cultural confusion of being “between two homes.”
It wasn’t easy, but it was freeing.
Rather than listing out the differences, let’s walk through a quick real-life comparison.
Imagine this:
You’re struggling to stay focused on your studies. You try the Pomodoro Technique, journal daily, and cut out distractions. It works — for a while.
But then you start waking up with anxiety. You feel overwhelmed for no clear reason. You avoid social events because you’re emotionally drained. You’re no longer just “unfocused” — you feel unwell – mentally.
At this point, self-help isn’t enough. It’s like using a band-aid for a deep wound. You don’t need more YouTube videos or another habit tracker. You need someone to talk to. Someone who can help you untangle the deeper stuff.
That’s where therapy steps in.
Therapy holds space for the things you’ve buried — shame, fear, loss, confusion. It helps you make sense of the inner noise and gives you tools to rebuild from the inside out.
Why This Matters So Much for Newcomers to Canada
As newcomers, we often carry an invisible weight:
- The pressure to justify our move
- The expectation to succeed quickly
- The guilt of leaving family behind
- The fear of failure
- The loneliness of starting over
These feelings are valid — but they can be heavy.
We’re taught to be tough. To figure it out. To be grateful and not complain. But pretending everything’s fine doesn’t make it so.
Understanding when to use self-help and when to reach out for therapy can be the difference between just surviving and thriving.
Therapy, especially for immigrants, isn’t just about mental illness. It’s about emotional adjustment. Cultural grief. Identity shifts. Loneliness. Guilt. Pressure to succeed. Even something as simple as missing home food can be more deeply tied to emotional exhaustion than we admit (P.S. I miss Delhi’s Momos).
Below is a table to know the difference between when to choose self help and therapy:
| When to Choose Self-Help | When to Choose Therapy |
|---|---|
| You’re managing mild stress or anxiousness | Self-help isn’t enough or sustainable |
| You want to build better routines | You feel persistently sad, anxious, or numb |
| You’re curious about mindfulness or journaling | Your daily functioning is impacted (sleep, appetite, work, relationships) |
| You’re seeking motivation | You’re dealing with grief, trauma, or major transitions |
| You’re emotionally not ready for therapy yet | You need someone to talk to without judgment or bias |
| Acts as a bridge between awareness and action — ideal for stable phases and personal growth | Therapy provides tailored, professional support to promote deep emotional understanding |
A Balanced Approach: Both Can Coexist
Today, I still journal and meditate. I still use productivity hacks like Pomodoro when I need to refocus. But I no longer treat self-help as my only coping mechanism. Instead, I let self-help be my daily support system, and I turn to therapy when things feel too big to handle alone.
One keeps me moving.
The other helps me heal.
You don’t have to pick one or the other — they’re most powerful when used together.
Here are some starting points:
- University mental health centers (often free for students)
- bookmytherapy.ca – provides therapy in language of your choice by licensed mental health South Asians.
- Community-based immigrant support centers – often have free or sliding-scale therapy referrals
Final Thoughts – it’s going to be okay
Being a newcomer in a new land is one of the bravest things you’ll ever do. But bravery doesn’t mean doing it alone.
Use self-help when you can. Build rituals. Read. Meditate. Time-block your days. Use the Pomodoro Technique to regain control. But also, know that it’s okay to seek help for your mental health — know that therapy isn’t weakness, it’s wisdom.
The most courageous thing I did in my journey wasn’t surviving on my own. It was choosing to let someone in.